A Resignation
My life seems like a series of distractions
Based upon my actions
Of chasing down every little want
Except for the big wants
These scare me
And these little distractions get in the way of anything substantial
Anything that sticks
Anything that puts meat on the bones
Because what I’m after is the one big fix
The one big end all never say never again
Content and without fear and I can take on the world
With my new fix
This will vary
Whether it be computer screens or people magazines or movie scenes
Candy canes or fast lanes or surface pains
Pills or bills or wide ranging thrills
(But that’s a lie, they’re quite mundane)
No sleep, I eat cheap, live like a creep
But any vice, think twice
And the illusion wears thin
But how do you think twice?
I never stopped to start again
So fuck wearing thin
The illusion stops before it begins
And any possible relief I could have, I should have
Well it never comes
Women are the only success I’ve had
But it’s fleeting
Not to mention fleeing
Because I do things to make them run jump skip hop into the arms of someone else
So when your neuroses are correct
Where do you turn?
Every attempt I make seems to land me broken and bruised
Crippled and used
Left to reap the rewards of my own will
And all my fast-food feel-goods continue on
Unhindered by my ashes being thrown up in their wake
Some will claim this is what life is
Ups and downs and down and outs
That my journey is a typical one so write it
But don’t fight it
Because I will not win
But fuck that.
This typical cyclical chemical lifestyle
I just can’t endure
(Like I said broken and bruised, crippled and used)
And all that will be left is an epitaph
Crying potential, oh potential
Essential and credentials and all that
So this is my resignation.
I surrender my will so that I don’t have to write it.
And turn my life over to a more able body:
A stranger
